Let's Talk About Sex

Mood:  sexy


Yeah...you read that right.  (And daddy you CAN keep reading...I promise).

Today I had a meeting with other Christian educators in the area.  There were 5 of us.  3 are married...2 of us are single.  3 have a seminary degree...I have 2/3...and one had no formal education.  2 have kids....3 of us don't.  That's an incredibly cursory glance at who we are.


As the conversations progressed, sex and the church came up.  One of the educators is in the midst of a two month conversation with middle/high school students on sexuality.  The idea is to promote a healthy awareness of sex...it's dangers, implications, ways to express it...all from both an emotional and physical viewpoint.  She had said she wanted to discuss pornography with the kids, but decided she didn't want a lawsuit.  We all laughed but then had a discussion on the subject of what is and isn't safe to talk about in a church.  With children...and adults.


Here's why I'm sharing this on my blog...it's my nice thing for today.  Not that I talked about sex...but that I'm doing part of what I think the church needs to do.  I'm talking about it.  


See, as a 26 year old single woman who happens to be employed by a church there are several stereotypes.  The only one I am going to discuss (at least in this post) is the one that employees of the church fall into one of two categories:  prude or sexual deviant.  How did that even start?  (I'm looking at you naughty priests....).  I joke but in all seriousness, why can't we just be normal people with a healthy attitude about sex and sexuality?  Why must we be one or the other?  And I get this from every single potential date (or on the first date) that I talk to.  There's always the "oh you work in the church" discussion.  And there's always me trying to prove that I can be a sexual creature despite my job.  Which gets old and annoying and isn't me, because there is more to me than a sexual being.


Anyway...point is.  One of the educators jumped down her throat for suggesting mentioning pornography to the kids.  I applauded her.  If we don't talk about sex and all the aspects of human sexuality...including the dirty, messy ones (hahaha...messy.....) then the stereotypes and negativity continue.  The more you educate the less there is to be afraid of.  The less there is to hide.  And I'm not saying sit down and watch a Ron Jeremy special with your high school youth group...but at least acknowledge that it exists.  And that it's not inherently evil in nature.  


They say knowledge is power.  And the church is trying...or I keep hearing anyway...to embrace that.  But until we acknowledge who we are...we can't tell our kids who we want them to be.  Or who they can be.  Or who they can't be.


It takes an honest person to acknowledge his/her sexuality in a church.  And I don't intend on going to my next youth group meeting and swapping tips or advice...but I'm not going to ignore the subject either.  Though...I am in a precarious position as a SINGLE woman...but that's for another day.


I hear that Jesus came to our world to understand and partake in our every human experience.  I think it was...maybe the Bible that told me this?  So even if you believe Jesus was completely chaste and pure...you have to admit the man at least had urges...he did, after all, experience the human life.  I mean...ultimately it wasn't for him so...


No seriously.  That was probably blasphemous.  But...in a very sacred and special way I urge you to be honest with yourself about who you are.  Sexually and otherwise. And let people get to know THAT person...not what role you think you SHOULD play.  Let that be your nice thing.  I promise it will yield true happiness.

Also as a nice thing...seriously watch this video...I mean when was the last time you heard this song?  Oh the early 90s.....enjoy!
 

Mean Girls...

Mood:  trying to take the high road...

Okay so I only saw the movie once...but I did enjoy Mean Girls.  I didn't think it lived up to all the hype but I did think it made some incredibly valid points and that it was overall an enjoyable movie.  Funny...smart...and it had a great moral.

And if you haven't seen the movie then here's the lesson:  girls are horrible to each other.  We tear each other down, we criticize, we hate...and all it does is hurt.  It hurts those we act out against and it hurts us.  Of course, it's not just girls that bully girls or girls bullying boys.  Literally everyone is being bullied and bullying and it's enough to make me cry.  Honestly, I've shed countless tears for all the kids that feel hurt and victimized or that feel so bad about themselves that they need to tear others down.  Bullying is a serious epidemic facing this country.  Children are dying because we can't teach them to be nice to each other.  And why can't we do that?  Because WE can't be nice to each other.  Read some status updates from your Facebook page from yesterday about the election and results and you'll see how quickly we judge and tear down.  

A large part of my feeling called to Christian Education is that I feel like I can make a difference.  If I can show by example that you can be positive and find the good in people (it's always there somewhere...) and not be horrible to one another...then hopefully they'll carry that lesson on to somebody else in their life.  But here's where I get stuck.  High school kids are MEAN.  They were mean when I went to school...and I certainly wasn't the most popular...but I did somehow win Best Personality in a high school class of over 500...so I'm not going to pretend that I had it super bad.  But elementary years were not fun...I was suicidal in 5th grade.  And I've been in some form of therapy ever since I was 10 years old.

In the last couple of days one of today's popular female stars (Demi Lovato of Disney fame) checked into treatment for an eating disorder and cutting as a result of her trauma.  And I pray that she receives applause and encouragement for realizing at 18 that she needed help.  Most people never get the courage needed to say "I NEED HELP."  I fear though...it will go something like "suicidal Disney star is no longer fit for stardom and is horrible role model teaching kids to cut themselves."  Because that's what we do as a society.

This blog is mine...but I don't intend for it to be a soapbox.  I honestly just want to do small, nice things for myself daily so that I'm a little happier and the world around me is a little happier.  So today, knowing I was going to be faced with mean high school kids who won't give me the time of day...I wore a sweater with my message for them.  If they won't listen to me say it...or hear it in the words I do speak...then at least they'll read it on my shirt.

And even if it looks like something a "3rd grader would wear" (yes that was a comment from one of the youth)...I know it was read.  And someday...I pray that they know love.  From me.  From each other.  And I hope they learn to give love.  Hate needs to stop.  We cannot continue to tear each other down.  I'm not saying politics is eventually going to be like a great big family picnic...or that religious debates will one day end without wars...but I am sincerely hoping that we all learn to love and respect life enough to be tolerant, loving, and compassionate.  Not just to our neighbors...but ourselves as well. 

Meet Ashley....

Mood:  accomplished, tired, enthused, slightly lonely, vulnerable


As of today it's been 3 days of "real" work.  This, of course, has meant paperwork (health benefit forms are CONFUSING), going through old paperwork, and of course creating my own paperwork.  Which hasn't been all bad.  Sometimes I like to zone out to spreadsheets and writing exciting blurbs encouraging participation is sincerely enjoyable to me.  However, there's the need in me to create, and to be creative.  As luck would have it, I'm currently in a career that allows for a lot of creative expression.  And one of the best ways to introduce myself to a congregation is to creatively display hints at my personality.  Also, I'm shy so it's easy to have a piece of work to talk about.  So this went up:

Since the church is participating in Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF I wanted to make sure people knew...it's the 60th anniversary and it's really important to me that youth know THEY can make a difference...it's not just up to "big" people to change the world.  The sooner you help get that message across...well the better.  And Caitlyn helped me make the pumpkins as well as helped with the actual putting up of the bulletin board so much thanks.


Once I had that bit of creativity done there was something left...so I put up a Happy Birthday bulletin board celebrating all of the birthdays for the month (but for privacy I will not post that pic here).  And, as the church has numerous bulletin boards, I wanted to get one more done before Sunday (my first OFFICIAL Sunday!!!).  I've always wanted church media (be it visual arts, music, decorations, etc...) to be "non churchy."  I know that sounds weird, but I have my reasons.  I mean you go to church and there are always generic "We Love Jesus" posters and "God is GREAT" signs and there is something comforting about them...but kids need to be "dazzled."  I know, I know part of me cringes at religion having to play games...but let's face it...we live in 2010 and sparkle, glitz, and glamour are attractive (regardless of your age if you're being honest).  So I've been updating what "church" bulletin boards look like.  Here's the one outside the church's library:

This pic went sideways...I can't get it figured out...and you can't see it in much detail...but there's a "Meet Ashley" section including some of my "favorites," inspirational quotes, and of course what major events are taking place this month. 


I'm going to work on becoming more assertive (slowly but surely) and in the meantime I'm going to take things one day at a time...continue to be creative...and do nice things for myself. 

(PS - finishing the bulletin boards before Sunday WAS my nice thing....)