I Miss You

Mood: we could live like Jack and Sally if we want....


I have no idea why random Blink songs keep popping into my head as I start to blog...but I do miss the boyfriend.  Kinda a whole lot.  Considering we've been apart for about 15 hours...it's slightly odd that I miss him THIS much...but here we are.  Anyway...

This whole going a week without blogging thing is happening a bit too often for my liking.  I was totally planning on writing a blog Thursday about my sister and how awesome she is (she turned 24 on Thursday....crappy birthday sis!) but between wishing my sister a happy (crappy) birthday, phone calls, work, e-mails, more phone calls, more work, planning things I cannot share at this juncture, more e-mails and then a smidge more work.....the blog just never materialized.  

Friday I was soooooooooooo going to blog about how I conquered my fear of making soups.  And honestly I have no idea why the thought of soup freaked me out so much...it's pretty much the easiest thing ever.  I suppose though, that having NEVER made a soup from scratch and having to make one for 75 people was part of the issue...

So, I was going to blog about that as the soup simmered and I did some mindless work...but then there were text messages and phone calls and people coming in and out of the church (which means I'm forced to be cordial and friendly and not ignore them)...so the blog didn't happen.

And Saturday was my only day off this weekend and I spent it with the boyfriend...and his AMAZING son.  Also going to see House of Pain cause....clearly that's something I've always wanted to do.  Especially the night before Palm Sunday...when the senior high was responsible for serving aforementioned soup.  After they had prom on Saturday.  Horrible idea.  An exhausted youth leader + exhausted kids = absolute randomness...but I hear the dinner was greatly appreciated.  I'll ask for details tomorrow as I will most likely wake up in the morning assuming that all of today has been a dream.  I'm THAT exhausted.

And while you, dear reader, don't really need to know any of this...this blog is, ultimately,  about me.  And damn it...I can write about all the random crap I want to.  Which is my nice thing for today.  I was the absolute worst (or best) procrastinator from elementary school through  college.  It got way harder to do so in grad school.  And while most of my work still gets done at the last minute (I work best under pressure) I've gotten better about not doing EVERYTHING last minute.  The thing is...once I've pushed something off I feel the need for whatever happens when I finally get around to doing it, to be epic.  This blog for example.  Every time that I've pushed it off this week...it makes the next post that much harder.  

The truth is I rarely have anything of mass importance to say.  But it is important to me to write.  So even if this was merely the incoherent ramblings of somebody going on roughly 6 hours of sleep (which is not enough to deal with both House of Pain AND senior high children) to those reading it...it was much more for me.  And it's done.  And I put no pressure on the outcome...which was my nicest thing of all today.  

If you managed to stick with this up until now....thanks...and congrats.  I hope your week was as amazing as mine was...even if it was incredibly busy.  And now....sleep. 

All the Small Things

Mood:  rocking out


I learned something today.  You can't rely on a smart phone to wake you up during daylight savings time, at least if you're me.  Because, if you are me...you will wake up thinking you're early...then decide you have time to check your e-mail...only to realize that you have 20 minutes before you have to leave the house.  At least I can always rely on social networking for the truth (and while that worked today...please note sarcasm).

So after my rushed shower and dressing and running (literally) out the door....I had a few minutes in the car to calm myself down.  I did this by loudly blasting All Time Low and screaming along.  Yes, screaming.  Most people who work in a church eventually face the problem of what to do during the commute to church.  It is a question I have seen posted on facebook hundreds of times.  It's a question and struggle I've watched my mom have.  Me?  I don't have it.

Perhaps it's because I am not responsible for delivering a week's worth of faith to people (or...all their faith...cause doing it oneself is waaaaaaaaaaay hard).  Or perhaps it's because I don't believe that worship only happens in the church.  And that the church is really just another building.  

Or it could be this:  every time the question of how to best prepare during the commute comes up...my answer is always the same... just make sure it makes you happy.  Super helpful I know, since most people are asking for specific radio stations or CDs full of worship songs or classical music.  Often their goal is something very calm, serene.  But if I'm going to work on a Sunday morning when I'm already tired...cranky...and this morning LATE...I need something that is going to get me pretty freaking excited about my day.  If I'm going to inspire a bunch of kids to get excited...don't I first have to be excited?  I feel like it's totally unfair to ask them to come all pumped and happy to be there if I can't muster the same thing.

Thus, I do what makes me happy.  I listen to music that anybody else would soooooooooooo not chose as "preparation for worship" music.  I get excited.  I need to be a little...well...uncalm.  Which is an awesome new word.  Try using it in a sentence today.

The pump up music (hehe that makes me giggle cause pump up sounds dirty...) isn't just a Sunday morning thing.  It's an every morning thing for me.  The reason I chose to blog about it as my nice thing today?  Sunday is the only day of the week where I feel like I should be...well...more "normal" about my musical selection.  Because there is so much talk about how to best prepare oneself for worship when in a leadership position in the church.  So I always feel slightly....bad?....listening to my music.  I mean...Jesus probably wasn't rocking out to Blink singing about incest or how "it'd be nice to get a blowjob" (ps...one of the best Blink songs ever. hands down.)...but I KNOW that doesn't mean I can't.  Or shouldn't.


Isn't preparing for worship a uniquely individual thing?  And it shouldn't really matter how we get there...just that we do.  So....here's a little something that while I didn't start my day with...I'm ending with.  Because at the end of the day (did you see what I just did there?) my blog is...all the small things.