Well, it is officially July. I planned on blogging right as the month started, but it started in a crazy whirlwind.
Jeff and I ended June/brought in July seeing Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon:
Quite a good movie, and a very much needed 2.5 hours of absolute nothingness but entertainment. I desperately required a little mind-numbing after last Thursday.
Friday brought me catching up on wedding stuff such as addressing invites, stuffing envelopes, and preparing them for mailing. Jeff helped when he was available on Sunday...we are excellent with teamwork. Friday evening...we had the boy and it was a truly amazing weekend with him. Each time I hear him call me "mommy" even though we say "Ashley," a piece of my heart just breaks with joy. I may not have given up on true love...but I had most certainly given up on having a family of my own...and while I am not Malcolm's biological mother...I cannot even describe how much pride I take in knowing that I am in this boy's life. He is amazing. And hilarious. And frankly, can use my iPhone better than me. He's 2.5 years old....hello gray hair!
Saturday we visited with my Aunt and Uncle and cousins from Texas at my grandparent's house and had an awesome time revisiting old playgrounds for Malcolm to enjoy. It felt surreal to be a grandkid at the house with a kid. It was a feeling I wasn't sure that I'd ever have to deal with. I was so proud, though, to show off my fiance and his son. They are two of the most awesome men on the planet. And that includes alien robots if they exist.
Sunday...I felt awful. Slept in. Grilled...and by grilled I mean...Jeff did the grilling while I tried to keep Malcolm occupied and playing with his Autobots. We ended up with an awesome dinner of hamburgers and corn....plus some AMAZING strawberry shortcake Jeff's mom made (I am sooooooo going to have to have her pass me some recipes). Jeff has never taken Malcolm to fireworks before and since the kid is going on 3 we figured...we'd give it a shot. We were planning to take him to a nearby town for their 10:00PM show (his bedtime is 7) when Jeff read about a display at 8 at the Jordan Creek Mall. We got there right around 7:50 or so. 20 minutes later we left, with a very upset and cranky Malcolm in tow. It was hot, past his bedtime, and the fireworks were nowhere near starting. Plus the thrill of being near water was apparently more interesting than the fireworks (which, to be fair, he didn't even know where taking place and/or why we were there in the first place...). After putting Malcolm to bed, Jeff and I finished the last of the invitations and kinda just did nothing. We were both hot, cranky, and I was still not feeling well. And after finding out a few hours prior that my mom had spent the whole day in the hospital...I wasn't really up for any festivities of any kind.
The 4th...took Malcolm to the Ames parade. He had a blast!
After a few hours in the sun I was about ready to pass out...and from what I recall I pretty much spent the rest of the day doing absolutely nothing. Except for getting a sunburn...that is still a bit painful when it comes to having a t-shirt on.
The overall craziness of the holiday weekend and the stress that has been nonstop and is only getting worse has once again put my body in a state of...shutdown. My body does that. When I push past what it feels like doing...it kinda lets me knows it's pissed and just stops. Awesome.
What I find really annoying is that I've been pushing myself to absolutely exhaustion for apparently no reason. I'm not far enough removed from the situation nor calm enough to write rationally about what has me so irate...but it's typical that when one part of your life goes really really well...another falls apart. Only this situation has been unraveling for a long time. And family...NO this is NOT about you. At all.
I will be working from tomorrow until at LEAST the 17th....and the 10th-16th of that is essentially 16 hour days with being "on call" at night. Senior High mission trip is going to be an experience I am sure I will never forget...but it's one that I'm currently dreading.
I guess my nice thing for today was to get out of bed....even though I wanted to sleep all day....face the e-mails and nastiness of the current situation head on...and write. After all....I can't start the month with nothing. And it was TRULY a wonderful celebration with an amazing new family.
I'll keep you all posted on the mission trip...the aftermath...and what's next for me. And of course...the wedding planning process. I swear I have about 2 books worth of material to turn into a "how to plan a wedding while you continue to lose your mind" kinda thing. After all....we're only 73 days away....
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