I shared a quote yesterday on my facebook with a photo of my parents and Jeff and I at our wedding. It was everything I felt at that moment, and the photo was important. The quote I posted was:
"the ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned." - maya angelou
Growing up is so bizarre. In a lot of ways I don't feel any older than I did when I graduated from college. I'm still figuring out what I want to be when I grow up. I still giggle every single time I hear the word "balls." I still love everything glittery, and pink. And I still throw random dance parties by myself when the mood strikes.
Then there is the fact that the latest I have slept in in the past week is 7:00am. My knee swells every single time it is going to rain (thanks skiing injury). A night full of drinking and staying up late now means the next day I'm pretty much useless and my head hurts rather than resuming activities as normal.
Perhaps though I feel most grown up when it comes to my family. I have an understanding of what it takes to be a wife, and a mother in addition to being a sister, and a daughter.
So here's where the quote fits. I miss my parents, and let's not even talk about how badly I miss my sister. The thing is, I always feel guilty in missing "home." I have such an amazing family right here that I just feel badly saying I miss the east coast. It's a vicious cycle...I miss home and feel badly then miss home more because I'm feeling badly about missing home. Did that sentence even make sense? Anyway.
I wanted to let you all know that today marks 29 years of marriage for my mother and father.
Jeff and I are approaching our 1st anniversary! I pray that in 28 more years we look (and are) as in love as my mother and father are. So here's where the quote, the pictures, missing home, and my awesome family all fit together:
Mom and Dad -
You are the reason that I am living today. There is nothing in this world that I will ever be able to do to repay you for all of the amazing things that you have done for me (oh the beautiful wedding!). One of the things I'm starting to realize is that as a parent, it's never about repayment. It's about the joy of watching your child/ren master things. Watching them learn and grow and become responsible for their own happiness. Perhaps that is one of the greatest lessons you've given me (that I've resisted for years and years and years).
I know that marriage is a journey. And I thank you, from the very bottom of my heart, for teaching that to me. It wasn't just a lesson of words. You imparted this wisdom to me just by living. Not every day was full of laughter and romance. Some days suck, but that's okay. As long as you're willing to wake up the next day and start again...there is love and hope present.
You taught me that family is of the utmost importance. And you gave me the freedom to know that my new and young family is every bit (if not more) important than the one I have lived in for 28 years. Some days all I want to do is crawl into your bed, flip on 7th Heaven, and snuggle in with popcorn. On those days I do my best to remind myself that it's okay to be sad that I can't do that, and then be grateful that I even have that wonderful of a memory to calm me.
You two are the most important adults in my life, and you always have been. I will always admire and respect you (who would have heard me saying that at 21?). I will always be indebted to you for your lessons in laughter, humility, and perseverance.
Happy Anniversary! I love you two more than I could possibly begin to write. You two are a beautiful couple, who made a beautiful family, and live a truly beautiful life. Here's to 29 more years. I pray every single night that I am able to celebrate this milestone with Jeff, and with the same grace that you two show each and every day. I love you. Forever and always!
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